Hey Sexy! Welcome to my website!

Feel free to poke around, check out my video clips and send me message.

August 2010

Hey lovers! It's hot as balls! Which means I'm headlining at the Toronto Yuk Yuk's. Huzzah! It's going to be wicked fun. Speaking of wicked fun, Cocky is back! We're working on a new extravaganza for September at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre in Toronto.

That's all. I'm going to go sit on a block of ice. 

Smooches!
Ted

July 2010

Hey Lovers! When did it become July? Egads! So far my big summer time plans have been sitting, judging people and drinking.  Tis the season! June was front row seats to all the G20 madness in Toronto and a flurry of Pride shows. July will be more of the same, except fewer burning cops cars. I hope. None of the anarchists were cute at all. Maybe that's why they were so crabby.....

Smooches!
Ted


May 2010

Hey Lovers! Happy May. Don't forget to send your mom some flowers. If you could send a few to my mom too that would be sweet. The Halifest was super fun and I felt like a little bit of a rock star. Whee!! I'm in London (Ontario) this month, but if you miss me I'll be back to headline during London Pride in July.

Mwah!
Ted

April 2010

Hey Lovers! Welcome to April! Embrace the random weather and the smell of worms and dog poo. Ah! This is living. 

This month is all about gearing up for the Halifax Comedy Festival. Check out www.halifaxcomedyfest.ca for all the details. If you make it down, lets have a drink! Seriously. These things are apparently all about the boozin' and schmoozin'. Oh, and I've put a few new clips up for you to check out.

Mwah!
Ted

March 2010

Hey Lovers! We made it! Winter is almost over! I'm still waiting for my first official sign of spring....when snowmobilers start drowning. Or when ice fishing huts start to float away. People being stupid is much more accurate than any groundhog will ever be.

I've officially broken all of my New Year's resolutions, including trying not to pick fights with strangers in public. I just can't resist a chance to say "Get away from me, old woman!". I promise to be a better person next year. Maybe.
The Halifax Comedy Festival is coming up in April, and I'm super-excited to be doing my first headlining weeks in Toronto and Ottawa in July. Get your tickets now!! Or, you know, maybe in July would be fine. I'm clearly a little excited

Mwah!
Ted


Toronto Comics for Haiti!

Hey Lovers! If you're in Toronto between January 23 and 31st it's a great time to check out some amazing comedy and support a fantastic cause. In an unprecedented show of solidarity from the Toronto comedy community almost every comedy venue across the city will be donating proceeds to the relief efforts in Haiti. We're even passing the hat at spots that are normally free. The best source for all the info is the Comedy Bar Facebook page. I'll be at Spirit's on January 27 and Clandestiny on Jan 30.

January 2010

Hey Lovers! Only 2 more years until the Mayans come to get us, or so I'm led to believe. December was a blur of Christmas (or "Holiday" or "Winter Solstice" or "Kwanzmakah") parties. For next year could you do us all a favour and actually ask your employees if they want a comic as the entertainment. There's nothing like being ignored by 200 drunk people whose only aim is to photocopy something creepy and hit on the boss' daughter. Good times! 

2010 is going to be awesome! I'm going to the Halifax Comedy Festival in April and taking the world by storm shortly thereafter. Don't miss it! 

Mwah! Ted

Oct 2009

Hey Lovers!

There are a couple of big shows coming up this month that I'd love to see your smilin' faces at. The latest episode of The Cocky Variety Hour will be loud and proud October 3. It's happening at our new home, Buddies in Bad Times Theatre. (PS. Screw you Diesel Playhouse...sorry, it had to be said). More singin', dancin', sketch and dirty nuns. With very special guest Elvira Kurt!

If you can't make that you have to come to Clinton's Monday October 19. Jo-anna Downey has set up a killer night of stand-up. She'll be hosting myself, Sandra Shamas, Debra DiGiovanni and Mike Wilmot for the first ever "Jo-anna Downy and her Funny Friends". Take a look at that line-up! I'm the least talented person on board and I'm friggin' hilarious. 10 bucks. No excuses. You might pee your pants. 

Smooches! 
Ted

Sept 2009

Hey Lovers! I can't believe it's September. Once again my big summer plans ended up being making fun of people while drinking on a patio. Delish!
I did get to finish up the month with some great shows at Ottawa Pride with the amazing Elvira Kurt. I'll be posting some clips soon.

This month I'll be in Kitchener (jealous?) the weekend of September 11/12. The bigger news is that my fab sketch troupe, Cocky, will be back for a brand new extravaganza October 3 @ Buddies in Bad Times. It's going to be the Best Show Ever!! Buy tickets! Tell your friends! Except for that creepy guy. I don't know why you still hang out with him.

Smooches!
Ted